If the development of self takes a lifetime to complete [1], then the start of that journey is of vital importance and relies - as we know from a range of psychological theory - on a secure sense of relational attachment and belonging. When parents begin their own journey with their small child, we must remember that it is of course a new transition for them too, stirring up deeply held memories of their own experiences as children and at school, which in turn colour their hopes with respect to being a mum or a dad, and their dreams for their child.

In our practice at Highfield Nursery School & Children’s Centre in Ipswich, we reveal this thinking straight away, naming the concepts and linking them to the research about relational needs. We talk about human emotional needs at our initial induction evening for new starters’ parents and show how their and their child’s attainment, achievement, sense of purpose and value in life is fundamentally linked to well-being, which is in turn linked to the psychological security of belonging. This is an invitation to them all to belong to our learning community, and to grow with us alongside them in relationship.

We clarify what we mean by this; that these aspects of a child’s and family’s time with us at Highfield are what we care about, and which drive the decisions we make in our setting. We share research about life as adults and help parents to see that their small child will eventually be a teenager, with quite different needs, but ones which depend on their experiences now, as an infant. This often helps parents to reframe their thinking about what they want for their child in the long term; to stand back and get a perspective which can often be lost in the turmoil of early parenthood, with all its competing pressures and emotional strains. I suppose what we are aiming to achieve through this is to help each parent or carer feel unique, valued, recognised and validated as such. We emphasise that we see the child as part of the family and community (after Barbara Rogoff), and that this is important because education is a moral journey with a social purpose, otherwise what is the point of it?

Over the years we have begun to look at each child from a resilience perspective and support the three aspects of this (as per Grotberg’s terminology) in order to strengthen their capacity for life success. We also offer a range of programmes of parental learning to help parents navigate their three-year old’s experience so far. Parents tell us they feel we do not judge them but empower them. We share information with them so they can make informed choices and do not shy away from sharing research to help them be more informed.

One of our recent programmes focuses on supporting staff in the use of preverbal physical movement to connect very strongly with children who are struggling in the emotional and social domains, and then sharing this learning with their parents, turning it into a whole family thing. Working at both the primary intersubjectivity level and the secondary, the programme uses video feedback sessions to better enable parents to reflect on the physical movement sessions. It draws on a range of theories from a range of disciplines - including cognitive neuroscience, speech and language, body work, polyvagal theory, attachment theory and behavioural psychology - and emulsifies them with the principles of early years practice. Over the last two years this programme has had a major impact on our children and their ability to cope and manage their emotions in the classroom, alongside significant (and linked) improvements in maternal mental health, which is - of course - a key aspect of supporting children’s development and attainment.

Lil Newton, Headteacher & Director, Highfield Nursery School & Children’s Centre, Ipswich

[1] Orth, U., Erol, R. Y., & Luciano, E. C. (2018). Development of self-esteem from age 4 to 94 years: A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies. Psychological Bulletin, 144(10), 1045-1080http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/bul0000161